Reviews 0 Description With the first edition of The Hurried Child, David Elkind emerged as the voice of parenting reason, calling our attention to the crippling effects of hurrying our children through life. He showed that by blurring the boundaries of what is age appropriate, by expecting--or imposing--too much too soon, we force our kids to grow up too fast, to mimic adult sophistication while secretly yearning for innocence. In the more than two decades since this book first appeared, new generations of parents have inadvertently stepped up the assault on childhood, in the media, in schools, and at home. In the third edition of this classic , Dr. Elkind provided a detailed, up-to-the-minute look at the Internet, classroom culture, school violence, movies, television, and a growing societal incivility to show parents and teachers where hurrying occurs and why.
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Are you pushing your children too hard to grow up fast? You may be confusing your own needs with theirs, which has repercussions, child psychologist and author Dr David Elkind warns.
In our competitive, fast-paced world, parents want their kids to excel in every field. Describe the Hurried Child Syndrome. It is a set of stress-linked behaviours, which result when a child is expected by his parents to perform well beyond his or her level of mental, social or emotional capabilities. Other reasons are a result of current commerce. The consumerist market is taking advantage of this fact, which in turn is affecting children.
How are children being affected? Hurrying can lead to a wide range of childhood, teenage and adulthood crises.
If children are offered the stresses of adulthood, they will also exhibit the ailments of adulthood. One of the effects of excessive expectations by parents is stress. Also, stress-induced psychological problems such as depression, not getting along with others, anxiety, crying, stuttering, and sleep issues can follow.
The most common physical symptoms include stomach ache, diarrhoea, nervous twitches, headaches, hyperactivity, stammering, muscle tension and bed-wetting. The number of children and adolescents suffering from — one or more — stress-related symptoms has increased dramatically over the last two decades. Once Sigmund Freud was asked what eventually happened to the street-savvy shoe shine boys of Vienna when they grew up. Parents fail to understand this — growing up fast can mean NOT going very far in life.
No, there are multiple reasons. Most parents demand more from their children. Other reasons are competition between parents, small families and overinvestment in each child etc. I think, in most cases, it is just a matter of necessity; parents need the children to take more responsibility than before when only one parent worked. What do you mean by age-appropriate demands? You have to match the responsibilities given to your child with his age and actual ability.
For example, you can ask a two-year-old to pick up his toys and clear his plate from the dining table but you cannot expect a year-old child to understand the differences in your marriage or your divorce complications. How big is the price? There are many different forms of play and a child learns different values from each, like co-operation, persistence, compassion and so much more. Playing also teaches children about their own powers and abilities.
It educates them on how to interact co-operatively with peers, and it makes them understand the limits and the constraints of reality For example, when they interact with kids their age, they automatically learn appropriate social behaviours, such as sharing, co-operating, and respecting the property of other children.
It teaches them to be tolerant, and may even help control aggressive behaviour. What can parents do to build a healthy culture of play? It is a question of balance. Childhood has moved indoors and that is not going to change. Parents just need to insist, and show by example, that time on c o m p u t e r s , iPhones, iPads, etc.
Do you believe children lose their innocence too early these days? Of course, there are children who have personally experienced violence, natural disasters, suffered abuse, and they have abiding scars.
For example, most children do not understand death in the biological sense, until they are eight or nine, despite their constant exposure to it via the media. How can one prevent raising a hurried child? The most import thing is for parents to distinguish between their own needs from those of the child. They often confuse the two, and that is the single most common cause of hurrying Technology has knocked down many of the barriers that once shielded children from the darker side of human nature.
What are the signs of a child being neglected? Children who are ignored can act out, get in trouble and bring attention to themselves, even if it is negative. If a child enjoys learning and extracurricular activities, that is great but if the child is struggling and resistant, it is time to back off and let him take his own time to learn as much as he can. End of the article.
A Summary Of David Elkind's "The Hurried Child" As Told By A Future Educator
According to Elkind, The mass media targets children by persuading them to buy makeup, or clothes that they are not socially prepared for. In the same regard, parents and teachers push children past their physical and cognitive abilities, when they force academics or competitive sports. Say No to Children: In the eyes of Elkind, a crucial way to allow children to remain kids is by setting up major boundaries; the easiest way to do that is by saying the two letter word NO. The primary reason for the hurrying of children is the lack of parental involvement. By saying no to kids, it allows them to infer that they do not require any parental guidance and that they are in fact grown. For example, if an 8-year-old child begs and pleads for the latest and greatest smartphone, it is important to remind them that they are too young for such an expensive privilege.
The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon
Shelves: parenting , teaching , sustainable-living David Elkind, Ph. In American society, which highly values competition and the earlier the better mentality, the condition is pandemic, caused by the chronic exploitation of childrens talents and time for purposes other than their direct benefit, by a combination of pressures from parents, commercial media, and school. Though much Hurrying can be defended as an earnest effort by parents to ensure a good future for David Elkind, Ph. Though much Hurrying can be defended as an earnest effort by parents to ensure a good future for a child—good grades to get into college, sports achievement to win a scholarship, etc. When children feel treated as an object to be controlled, rather than as human with feelings, dignity and a right to opinion, they translate this as rejection by those who have the most power to hurt or nurture them. Especially once they reach adolescence and can articulate these feelings of manipulation, they may retaliate by underperforming or lashing out.