HOW TO RUIN MY SUMMER VACATION SIMONE ELKELES PDF

Shelves: kindle , ya-romance , brooding-guys , army Ok, before I start reviewing the book I have to say a couple of things a bout Israel. I live in Israel. My mom lived in the US for 20 years and moved to Israel because of my dad, therefore I read only english books and speak english better then I speak hebrew.. Sad I know.

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I was sitting in my room yesterday when my biological father, Ron, called. Ron never calls. You see, after their affair in college, my mom found out she was pregnant. She comes from money, and Ron. Boy, were they wrong. But the worst part is he gave up without even trying. I know he puts money into an account for me. He also comes by to take me out to dinner for my birthdays. But so what? He used to come around more, but I finally told him to leave me alone so my mom could find me a real dad.

He failed miserably. Well, the guy phones this time and tells my mom he wants to take me to Israel. You know, that little country in the Middle East that causes so much controversy. I still remember what he said. I freeze and end up saying nothing. Believe it or not, sometimes saying nothing actually works in my favor. It makes people nervous and, well, better them than me.

Ron clears his throat. A war zone! Tell Grandma I hope she gets over her illness. Bye," I say and hang up. My mom picks up the phone in the living room. I try to listen through my bedroom door. Just mumble, mumble, mumble. After about forty long minutes she comes knocking at my door and tells me to pack for Israel.

I cross my arms in front of my chest. I never said I was perfect. I should have known trying to argue with my mom would get me nothing except a sore throat. I decide to call my best friend, Jessica. Supportive, understanding Jessica. Gotta love caller ID. Ron called? And somehow he convinced my mom to cancel my summer plans so he could take me to Israel.

Could you just die? Trust me. Is that a laugh I hear on the other end of the line? She says they have the clearest diamonds ever cut.

You know the little black dress I love? She got it for me there. But my parents say a lot of what we see on TV is propaganda. Ron will keep you safe. Would that make you feel better? Looking around, I watch a guy in a dark suit as he crouches on the floor and examines the underside of each row of benches. If he finds a bomb, will he know how to disarm it? He tried talking to me on the way to the airport. I cut him off by putting on my headphones and listening to my iPod.

His hair is short. As hard as it is, I straighten my curly hair every morning. I hate my hair. People say my eyes are such a bright blue they glow. I consider my eyes my best feature. Unfortunately, the main thing I inherited from Mom is a big chest.

When I play tennis, they get in the way. Have you ever tried a two-handed backhand with mongo boobs? They seriously should have handicaps in tennis for people with big chests. But Jessica said during a boob reduction the doctor removes your whole areola. As I think about detached areolas, I realize Ron is still looking at me.

Because of him, I had to drop out of tennis camp this summer. I totally want to make the varsity team. Mom probably wanted me out of the house so she could have privacy with her latest guy. As if. Mom got me the cell "for emergencies only. Well, sometimes. My flight is delayed. If there was anything I could do. I just thought of it. International terminal. Wait for me there. The snatcher, of course, is none other than the crapper himself.

Who is dis? Why are you ruining my summer and taking me to Israel?

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